In any relationship there is give and take. I never thought about it much until yesterday. I claim to want to have a relationship with God, but I don't really talk with Him, but at Him. I don't really give anything, but am happy to take. It's disgusting and disturbing and if I can rethink, do better, I'll have a relationship with God. I suppose, right now, it's like God has an incessant child, me, wanting perpetually.
Now, I have to find a good way to give back to God. I've had few instances where I could direct people to a higher purpose, beyond the human and physical realm. I have had instances where I could help people, but so very rarely in a spiritual way at all.
I cannot claim virtue or piety or great spirituality, for pragmatically I'm far from those. I can be sure that I am unsure of more things than I "know" and as any child, still have some maturing and growing to do. My needs are already met and now I'm stuck on "wants". I have good ideas for what I'd like to do, what could be helpful to people, but as always, my "wants" are merged and married into the mix of how to help others.
What God wants is service, love and I'm darn sure that I don't know how to do either and sadly am more interested in being defiant and closed minded, fisted about the whole thing.
Knowledge sought bears a price
1 comment:
Why do people make this "doing what God wants me to do" thing so complicated?
Imagine this: You're a dad. (Or a mom if you're female, which you really feel male to me so we'll say dad....) So, you're a dad and you've taken your five year old kiddo to the park. Five year old kiddo plays in the sand for a while and then runs back over to you and asks you what you want her (or him) to do. You tell him (her), "I want you to go play and have fun," cause you're the dad and she's the kid and that's how dad/kid relationships work. See?
Well, ten minutes later, kiddo runs back to you and says, "Daddy? What do you want me to do?" and again you reply, "I want you to get your butt over there in the sand and have fun." You've got it under control for Christ's sake, doncha? You're the dad and nobody's gonna hurt your kiddo whilst you're watching out for her (him.....whatever....).
So, how many times would kiddo have to stop playing and having fun before you finally said, "Get your tiny little kid ass back into that fucking sandbox and have some goddamned fun!"???
Waaaaay too complicated, I tells ya.
Way too complicated indeed...
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