Taking

In any relationship there is give and take. I never thought about it much until yesterday. I claim to want to have a relationship with God, but I don't really talk with Him, but at Him. I don't really give anything, but am happy to take. It's disgusting and disturbing and if I can rethink, do better, I'll have a relationship with God. I suppose, right now, it's like God has an incessant child, me, wanting perpetually.

Now, I have to find a good way to give back to God. I've had few instances where I could direct people to a higher purpose, beyond the human and physical realm. I have had instances where I could help people, but so very rarely in a spiritual way at all.

I cannot claim virtue or piety or great spirituality, for pragmatically I'm far from those. I can be sure that I am unsure of more things than I "know" and as any child, still have some maturing and growing to do. My needs are already met and now I'm stuck on "wants". I have good ideas for what I'd like to do, what could be helpful to people, but as always, my "wants" are merged and married into the mix of how to help others.

What God wants is service, love and I'm darn sure that I don't know how to do either and sadly am more interested in being defiant and closed minded, fisted about the whole thing.

God's always right

There I was speeding and had to slow down repeatedly for traffic. Some time down the road -- a police car was lurking. I have done many things that God intervened to ensure my safety or more longevity satisfaction. God's right, but I'm still stuck on me being right. Sometime I'll learn a bit better.