Since starting this blog so long ago, I have seen the baptism of myself, then of our youngest Kayden, and that of our youngest daughter.  We attended the baptism of my nephew's girlfriend who has joined a very small church.  I have seen the passing of my mother and have had many doubts, still, I have tried and eventually been successful with seeing that God has a plan, nothing that I would understand.

she follows Christ

Simone baptized.

3 lives

God created and so created all. In creating all, God created people and thereby each person and thereby the processes. God gave life. You were born and continue to exist -- this is the life God gave you.

God gave the world life with Christ, moreover in Christ. All persons live in the presence of God and in the presence of Christ. Here people live and are living in Christ -- the "second" life.

Christ gives you life hereafter, a life unending, eternity for the multitude of souls. We are blessed.

Paths

I guess it is the path and steps we take that define our journey. We all live; we all die. We all struggle in many ways. I suppose I ought to enjoy a bit of the view on my trip, my journey, my epic of life. God willing, I will find the right path more often. If I listen, God directions me well, still allowing me choice. While not always the easier way, His way is the better way.

F is for failure

Failure to comprehend .... failure to reason. I'm left left in a quagmire of rhymes with ship. While God spells out clearly the plainness that we all breathe, we all live, we all fight for each breath, each moment on Earth. Why then do I fight God on every issue? Ah! Ego supersedes reason. I am hating the daily death of beloved, wholly or in pieces. I hate, not dislike, the careless disregard for people who participate in life ... in others, the downtrodden, the forgotten.

God, why?

I spit in God direction, which is anywhere. I think ... God also created.
I am a quilt ... join pieces into a layer to warm and comfort others.

Fart, fudge or any other replacement for profanity. I find that hate and hell fits me better than Heaven could offer. Never have I tried the passion, but I hear it is off the rack. I desire -- Hell awaits with that -- for the Hell that is married to married to my hate, my human nature of selfishness and me. God help me .... I cannot do what is meant for me ... what God timidly requests of me.

God, Jesus, generous in all ... I deny Him in seeking a finer, easier way that meets my fury, my wild, unsaddled horse. Like the derby -- all things die like my soul -- eternally with my illness.

I ill, my preference for Hell ... for me ... what I think is me, rather. Tears like tantrums ... I want, I, I,I ... want, want, want
Kicking and screaming I make a scene not progress. God understands and forgives. God knows that I would disdain the bastard -- me, a lone person to my lustful and hateful personage. Excelling my templar of sin, I loathe him.

What does Jesus want. In me, however little or much of Him I chose to show is Him. He wants want is Him -- pure love, unburdened by sin. What a God! He doesn't demand virgins and he doesn't grant them. He forgives you for all your wrongs. He forgives your pushing in line to murder. God wants you --- to fulfill the promise, LOVE.

I give little anonymous tokens, but little of my whole being. Jesus is in me if I were to only left Him speak ... let Him act.

If I put togethe the pieces before, I can barely see that God has a plan ... one like a trillion trillion cubed puzzle. I matched two pieces that are close, but not quite fitting. I tried and God saw it. That is purpse I serve. i am a cog or a blank page in a printer of a manuscript to be printed. I matter but am not a major player.

I also have life much easier than the poor, the sick, the paraplegic. I bitch so much about nothing. On top of my many blessings ... I have a woman, not mine ever, who loves me. She is like my body, without her -- I leave the living. God granted me her ... I plan to see her soul when we die. She knows me a bit more than friends can ever know me. God knows all and shes knows much. While I am killed bit by bit daily, I know that after my last breath, she will either await me or I her.

God put me here and there like a pawn or bishop to make the game work. I might be inclined to be selectively removed, but God prefers that I stay and render a win.

God. Sublime, divine, just listen

I'm happy to be alive. I'm not liking my stress. I don't like much, but you've given me lots.

I was angry, bitter, sore ... I walked, anger in every step. Anger strikes again, you flinch not a bit. Abuse again, scourged before for sins of men like me. Step harder.

Jesus suggests, I do.

I step harder.
Step faster.
I step faster.

Look.
I look. I walk; I smell; I hear; I feel; I taste ... I don't forget. I stop caring about the anger. It drives me, but then my want for the walk moves me. I walk, mechanically ... ouch, miles short and my energy the same. My patience is short the same, but God's patience is long. Jesus wins again. Evil has no power over Him. He wins before evil starts the fight.

Jesus granted me many things. I lost what I thought was critical. While I need it, he had a need for me at times to do His bidding. I was at the right place at the right time on five occasions. Had I what I "wanted" and thought I needed most of all, I would not have been were I should have been. Like a person calling your name to say, "hi" before you were going to walk into a moving car's path.

While I am not superman, I got the chance to be used in functional ways that I could not have, had my wants been satisfied the way I wanted them. While I am still stressed, I think I should accept the things I cannot change. I should accept the opportunities given to me.

I haven't written, not for lack of material, but rather for lack of interest. Now, God has given me call ... interest.

God Willing

Well, I cannot argue, nor could anyone, that good luck, fortune, God's will has shined on me. I wanted a different job and boom! I have been without a companion for a long time and bam! I think that my soul is slowly returning to me after work was holding it ransom.

God's work has shined on me. Perhaps it was when I picked up the son and threw away the gun. + Follow me (Christ) and everything will be alright; I'll be the one to keep your soul clean right.++ Forgiveness, forgiveness, even if, even if, you forget I (Christ) love you forevermore.

While evil, capable of evil, I know it isn't about being a good person. Its about forgiving others, making them better people. What is one good person among bad ... Saddam and Gomorrah. Make the world a better place. God's will, I make the world stronger, better.

+ reversal of lyrics from Bad Company, "Bad Company"
++ better version of Uncle Cracker

Still the one

yep, from the '70s song, "Still the One", God is with me. I patently do not have images of Christ, for no one knows what He looked like. I will forgo that consistency here, using someone's artwork showing Christ hugging a girl. This is God ... support when you need it.

I am a selfish man, selfish goals, me me me ... God helps by showing me that others benefit, that others are in greater need. I've "happened" out of bad situations, and "happened" into good ones. I'll thank God for those. Since He has looked out for me so often, the least I can do is look out for others and help where I can.